A Guide for Womxn and Everyone to Deal with People Who Interrupt
By: Pooja Kadaboina
The recent US Vice-Presidential debate showed Senator Kamala Harris’ persistent (and deliberately polite) efforts in trying to stop Vice-President candidate, Mike Pence from interrupting her speech most times. We’re reminded once again how womxn and people of several discriminated intersectional identities are constantly spoken over and drowned out in conversations that they are a rightful part of; especially in workplace environments. Here’s a concise guide on how you can deal with interruptions and people who interrupt:
1. “I’m not finished talking.”
Be firm and direct. You can be politely blunt and get your point across. Make the interrupter aware of the fact that you will be open to discussion once you’re done talking. Try not to use apologetic language when interrupting the interrupter back – phrases like “Let me finish,” or beginning your sentence with “I’m sorry, but…” only seem like you’re seeking the interrupter’s permission, and causes a monopolisation of power in the discussion.
2. “One moment.”
Though slightly aggressive, try to keep talking. There may be a period of a few seconds where you and the interrupter will be talking simultaneously, but if you continue on with a louder, and more assertive tone, the interrupter may back off. If it doesn’t seem to work, you can always pause, say “One moment,” with your palm raised up towards them to signal your refusal to allow them to speak while you’re speaking, and then continue on with your point.
3. “That sounds good, but coming back to what I was saying…”
Redirect the conversation. Sometimes, interrupters manage to cut in and finish what they have to say anyway. One way you can take back hold of the conversation is by shortly reviewing whatever was said, and redirecting the attention back to what you were originally saying and then, going on to finish talking. In this way, you give your opinion on the interrupter’s points, and then bring your own into focus once again.
4. “I’d like to hear the rest of [Name]’s thoughts.”
A good way to deal with being an audience to someone being interrupted is to be a supportive ally to them. If they’re unable to refute the actions of the interrupter by themself, pitch in and help refocus the conversation on the original speaker. Interjecting with sentences like “As [Name] was saying…” or “We could come back to this after [Name] finishes the rest of their thoughts,” helps amplify the right of the speaker in voicing their ideas without abrupt interruptions.
5. “We’ve heard from [Name], what do others have to say about this?”
In some cases, especially when you’re leading a meeting, you can direct the conversation to a third person or to the whole group. So, instead of attention passing over what you’d said before you were interrupted, you’d be bringing focus back to it. And you’d be doing it in a way that is responsive to the interrupter, and is inclusive of any opinions as prompted by you. But don’t forget, if you were interrupted at a point where you weren’t able to finish what you had to say, make sure that you do before extending the floor for an open discussion.
Womxn and individuals of discriminated intersectional identities are often interrupted due to the bias that their contributions matter less than (usually) cisgender straight (white) men whose opinions and ideas are valued higher. One thing you can do is be firm to be heard, and help others do the same. And you needn’t always be polite, if you wish.
The Silent Sexism Project 